


The Pulse in my Veins

by SharkbaitSekki



Category: Fire Emblem Series, Fire Emblem: If | Fire Emblem: Fates
Genre: Character Study, Child Abuse, Gen, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Implied/Referenced Underage Prostitution, M/M, Mild Gore, Torture, Violence, and all the fun tags that usually come with a Niles fanfic, of Niles after he meets Leo, so obviously there will be
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-25
Updated: 2017-02-25
Packaged: 2018-09-26 22:56:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,302
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9927821
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SharkbaitSekki/pseuds/SharkbaitSekki
Summary: For everything he does not have, Niles does have one thing; a second chance at life. Staying alive begins at the feet of a Prince of Nohr, and as he goes on, Niles realizes that he is more than just alive. When he is with Prince Leo, he lives.A character study of Niles, and how meeting Leo was like being reborn.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I've been playing FE: Heroes way too much as of late, and have dragged my friends into it, so I'm really happy because they're beginning to ask questions about Fire Emblem, and I get to introduce them to the game. I'm also rediscovering my love for the games, especially Fates.
> 
> Niles has become a bit of a running gag in our group, and as much as I laugh about him, I still think his story is one of the most interesting ones in the story. When my friends asked me to tell them about Niles, I realized that there is so much to talk about... and lo and behold, I wrote. This is sort of a character study of how Niles changed when he met Leo.
> 
> The title is from a Starset song called "Monster". I really encourage giving it a listen, Starset is so good ;A;
> 
> Please enjoy!

 

Attachment is a dangerous game to play when you're someone like Niles.

Niles himself had learned this very early on, though he didn't know what had hammered the final nail in the coffin.

Perhaps it was being sold by his mother at the age of five to fuel her gambling addiction.

Perhaps it was growing up amidst thieves and assassins, the scum of humanity that prowled the shadows of Windmire.

Perhaps it was seeing his fellow thieves be struck down, captured, tortured, punished, beaten, beg for mercy, suffer, and hang from the gallows, knowing that at any time, that could've been him.

Perhaps it was the constant hunger, the chill of the wind through his threadbare clothes, the tingling of pebbles embedded in his bare feet, the smell of blood, piss and sweat clinging to him, and the throb of bruises and cuts he collected on his body.

Perhaps it was being used as bait, thrown around for convenience, abused, ordered on his knees, forced to slash throats and forget the crying faces of the innocents before him.

Perhaps it was losing his eye to the hands of their coven's leader after a particularly terrible failure that Niles wished had cost his life as well, falling to his knees screaming and feeling _empty, empty, empty_ -

Perhaps it was celebrating his fifteenth birthday with a knife to his own neck, and realizing that even after all this time, he couldn't do it.

Niles didn't know what it was that drove him over the edge, but he remembered waking up one gorgeous morning and deciding that he couldn't feel pain if he didn't feel at all.

So he didn't feel.

When he beat up a man for his valuables, when he was pushed face-first into the mattress, when he was slammed into the dirt, when he choked the life out of a pleading woman, when he ran and left his comrades behind, Niles didn't feel.

(He would have forgotten how to cry, were it not for the occasional nights he spent gazing at the sky and wondering what it would be like to be free. On those nights, he felt human once more, and allowed himself to smother sobs into his torn clothing).

When he began to outlive most of the thieves in his coven, the leader granted him a new name, a name that the shadows would soon begin to whisper in terror when he prowled the night in search of new prey.

_Zero._

Zero, for he was nothing and had nothing; no remorse, no mercy, no regrets, no soul.

Niles did not get attached, not to anyone else, and certainly not to himself. And that's what made his job so easy.

…-…-…-…-…-…-…

That's what made him raise his head despite the warnings of the guards holding him at spear-point. That's what drove him to look up and glance into the eyes of the blond boy standing above him, hand outstretched and glowing pale with magic from the tome in his other hand. That's what made him realize that there were thorny vines at his wrists, ankles, and neck, already digging into his flesh and drawing blood.

He took masochistic pleasure in leaning his neck into the sharp thorns, shuddering at the tickle of blood dripping down his skin. The vines were not tight enough to kill him, but Niles guessed that with a wave of his hand, the youth sternly glaring at him could arrange that. He seemed to be speaking, but Niles couldn't tell what he was saying. He'd hit his head when his partners in crime had pushed him off the escape ladder and had left him for dead as a distraction, and there had been buzzing in his ears ever since. All that Niles could focus on were the silk bedclothes adorning the young man and the silver circlet gently resting upon his tousled hair.

Of all the people in Castle Krakenburg, Niles was at the mercy of the young prince Leo. How ironic. He hated nobles, despised them with a passion for leading lavish lifestyles whilst he and his kind starved in the muddy streets. And yet, for all his hatred of them, here he was, his life in the hands of one of the royal children of Nohr.

The irony of it would kill him if the magical vines didn't first.

Speaking of which, Niles choked when they suddenly wrapped tighter, the thorns vanishing so that the smooth vines now only constricted his tanned neck. Breath escaped his lungs rather violently as the vines extended, lifting his kneeling form a bit off the ground. Hands tied, Niles couldn't do much to ease the pressure, and was left wheezing heavily for the air that his traitorous body still craved.

"I shall ask one last time, and I suggest that you rein in your impertinence and answer me," the Prince warned, not quite imposing with his short stature and rumpled clothing. "What is your purpose here?"

Niles would've laughed if he could breathe. This teenager, no older than sixteen years, this _boy_ was threatening him, and there was a certain absurdity in the whole thing that drew a smirk from his cracked lips.

"Very well," Leo sighed, frowning. "It seems I shall get no answer out of you." He flicked his wrist, and Niles suddenly felt pricks on his neck. When pain began to register in his mind, he realized that the thorns had grown back in the vines, and were slowly extending into his skin.

He was going to die. And at that moment, Niles _felt_.

"What are your final words, wretch?"

"Please," Niles croaked out, drawing blood when his Adam's apple scratched against the thorns. He didn't know what he was pleading for anymore, but he knew that he wanted something desperately enough to cry for it. The tears were already massing in his eye. In his heart, there was an emotion that he hadn't ever felt before.

It was elation, or it was fear, or it was both.

"Please." He let the feeling wash over him, and went limp at the mercy of his captor. "Just kill me."

When he shut his only remaining eye, a tear trickled down his cheek, and Niles' mind went blank.

It took another moment, another minute of painful wheezing, waiting apprehensively for the end to come, for something to change.

The pressure around his neck disappeared, and Niles dropped to the carpeted floor like a rag doll.

He didn't register what had happened at first, and, running on instinct, he trembled and coughed and filled his burning lungs with air that he craved. He only realized his hands were free when he clutched his chest, trying to ease the pain in his sternum. He still felt numb, and still felt cold, the blood on his neck drying quickly at the shallow puncture wounds.

When the pain subsided, Niles looked back up, and realized with growing horror that he was still alive.

His lips opened to say something, but all that came out was a broken sob.

The Prince was still looking down upon his battered body, his tome now closed and his gaze inscrutable. He seemed deep in thought, and his calm demeanour only served to make Niles angry.

"Take him to the dungeons. Have him looked at," the blond ordered, and Niles had no time to ponder the order as he was roughly picked off the ground, to his shaky legs. "If he is dead come morning, then I shall see that you are, too."

It was an unusual order, and despite the fog in his mind, Niles could tell that the soldiers were restless.

"Sire," they acquiesced nonetheless, and Niles was pushed forward by the few guards who were escorting him.

He hazarded a look back at Prince Leo as he was taken away, and right before his head was hit back down, he locked gazes with the young man, and saw the conviction in his eyes.

…-…-…-…-…-…-…

Niles spent the night in the dungeons of Castle Krakenburg, though the bed of hay provided for him was nothing he could complain about. He had lived through worse before, physically, that is. His mind and his heart were still ablaze with confusion and hopelessness, and despite his exhaustion, Niles saw that he could not sleep.

He was seen by a healer in the night, and morning brought him a maid with a tray of food.

Niles didn't touch it, disgusted by the idea of eating food from the castle.

The routine was repeated, astonishingly enough, three times that day. Niles' chamber pot was also emptied, and one of the maids even asked if he required anything before she left. Niles remained stubbornly silent, though he could not understand how he had found himself in this situation. Most of all, he just wanted to know what would become of him.

That night, he slept, if only because he was so exhausted.

The next morning, when he woke, Prince Leo was at the bars of his cell, sitting daintily on a stool as he quietly read a book. Guards flanked him, but made no noise. The Prince himself was quiet, only making noise when he turned the page of his book.

Niles watched him for a whole minute before he was noticed.

Prince Leo lifted his gaze, and when he saw Niles' open eye, he shut his book.

"Leave us," he ordered sternly to the guards. "You needn't stand by me with him unarmed and behind bars."

"Of course, Milord," the guards replied, bowing lightly and immediately moving away. Leo waited for the clanking of their armour to disappear before he got up, and approached the bars.

For a while, he only watched Niles, and Niles glared right back. Admittedly, the young man was somewhat intimidating, more so now that he was dressed in regal purples and golds that gave his lanky body some shape. Still, Niles felt irritation towards him, and couldn't help sitting up slowly.

"You do not rise for your Prince?" the teenager threw at him with a bit of a lilt in his voice, but Niles was in no mood for a joke, for once.

"A man who has condemned me to this life is no Prince of mine," he grunted, his throat still scratchy from the asphyxiation of two nights ago.

"You behave as if I was the one who stole you away and threw you into the slums," the Prince raised his eyebrows. "You do not direct your anger at the right person."

"Why are you here, then, Milord?" Niles mocked, narrowing his eye. "Have you not played me enough as is? Is my suffering so entertaining to you that you have come for more?"

"I was merely curious," the Prince shrugged.

"About what?"

"About the man who successfully infiltrated this heavily-guarded castle, only to beg for death without hesitation when he could have begged for his life instead."

"I have nothing to gain from begging for life," Niles frowned. "Would I to have it my way, I wouldn't be here right now."

"Uncouth as they come," Prince Leo sighed, lightly enough to pass it off as a joke. "Humour me, then. What is your name?"

"Surely the name of a sewer rat like me has no importance to someone such as Milord," Niles threw back at him, his heart palpitating with the adrenalin rush of flirting with danger. Danger, who wore a circlet, and who was now clutching his tome as if itching to open it.

"Surely there is no harm in fulfilling your Prince's whims," Prince Leo teased right back, and just for a second, Niles felt a tug at his lips. At least the boy wasn't a complete prick. He seemed to have a good shoulder on his head, and an even sharper tongue in his mouth.

"Then, let me introduce myself," Niles finally got up, only stumbling once when he misjudged the ability of his malnourished body to bear weight. "Zero, the scum of this country and the dirt on your boots, at your service, Milord." He bowed as low as his aching back would let him bend.

Now, he was sure to get executed for disrespecting royalty. However, when he rose, Prince Leo still stood motionless, his expression blank if not lightly amused.

"Zero," he repeated, and Niles sat down, deflating when he realized that he hadn't shaken the Prince after all. He was looking to be a more and more interesting character. "Surely, that isn't your real name."

"It's what they call me," Niles insisted.

"Why?"

"Because I am nothing," he answered without hesitation, missing how Prince Leo's features twitched minutely at the internalized self-deprecation he spewed. "I am nothing, and I have nothing. I am empty in more ways than one, and am devoid of my humanity. That's why I was given the name Zero."

Prince Leo studied him a little longer. It was actually unnerving, how this young man made Niles feel like he was being scrutinized. He'd been ogled before, like a slab of meat by men and women alike, but never with such forceful intent to get to _know_ him. Prince Leo was looking at him, looking through him as if trying to see something that nobody else could see.

"I don't believe you have nothing," the Prince finally started again. "I think you have much inside of you that you don't realize you have. And that makes you interesting, to me."

Niles couldn't help it. He flinched back in genuine surprise, though he covered it up with a coy smirk.

"Oh? Milord thinks I'm interesting?"

"When you're not being crude, yes," Prince Leo replied, unshaken. "I saw something in your eyes that night. You say you are empty, and yet, behind the emptiness, there is something else. I think you have more potential than you realize."

"Potential?" Niles frowned, losing his composure. "I… I don't understand…"

"Zero." The call of his given name shook Niles into silence. He found himself sitting up straight, looking at Prince Leo with apprehension at his next words. He held his breath. "What would you say if I gave you purpose again?"

The breath he held rushed out of his lungs, and the buzzing in his ears returned momentarily even though his concussion had been healed a night ago. Niles couldn't think, however, in the light of this proposition.

Two days ago, he was ready to die, knowing he had nothing left. Now, he was being offered life again.

He didn't know how to feel. He didn't know if he wanted to feel again.

"What… What do you mean?" he asked carefully, digging his fingernails in the straw beneath him.

"I've seen your prowess, and I've seen your misplaced ambition," Prince Leo continued, almost seeming like he'd rehearsed this. Perhaps he'd been planning this all along. Niles' mind swam in confusion. "I want you to put your skills to better use."

"With all due respect, Milord, my skills are nothing that can be of use in many situations," Niles scoffed incredulously. "I steal from under people's noses, pick locks and pockets, break in and out without being seen, extract information from the most tight-lipped enemies… Unless you have use for these skills, I don't have much else to offer."

"I'm sure you do," Prince Leo challenged as if he knew Niles better than he knew himself. "Zero. I will present you with an ultimatum."

Niles froze in place, not sure how to feel about this. He let the Prince speak.

"Should you still wish to die after I have made my offer, then I will grant your wish without further ado. However, should you wish to live, then I offer you a spot at my side as my retainer," Prince Leo dropped the bomb on Niles, whose entire world shattered from beneath his feet.

For a moment, it felt like he was falling, and he could barely breathe. He swallowed heavily and blinked a few times, just to make sure that he wasn't dreaming this up, but Prince Leo was still there, with the same unreadable expression on his face as ever, and he had not moved. He simply waited for an answer.

An answer that Niles knew he would give, but that he was afraid to give anyway.

"What say you, Zero?" Prince Leo prompted after a moment of silence, peering sharply into the depths of Niles' heart through the lens of his only remaining eye. He was unnerving, intimidating, regal and commanding, and at that moment, Niles felt like he was fifteen years younger again, only just being handed off by his mother to the men who would ruin his life.

Thankfully, this time, he had not made the mistake of getting attached.

"Niles," he simply said, rising to his feet unsteadily. Leo didn't move, even as Niles approached him, almost as if he knew that Niles would reach the bars, and then kneel at his feet. "My name is Niles. And I… I am yours to do with as you please… Lord Leo."

…-…-…-…-…-…-…

Niles had not made the mistake of getting his hopes up, which bode well for him as his transition from the slums to the lifestyle of the castle was not an easy one.

It took a week for him to get truly settled in. The first few days, he was given to rest and heal in the infirmary whilst proper accommodation was being prepared. Those days, he did not see Prince Leo -his Lord now-, nor did he have a desire to. The medicine he was given to fight off his infections and other health problems made him weak and dizzy, and the richness of the food from the castle kitchens upset his weak stomach so many times that his meal trays now came with a kidney basin.

Niles had sworn that he would do his best to uphold the new purpose he'd been given. He couldn't let Lord Leo see him like this. But he couldn't stay like this forever, either.

It took a few days, but he was back on his feet and down in the archery range. His new clothing had been commissioned, and Niles felt awkward and misplaced when the tailors fitted him with the golden clasps and soft cotton on his new garments. He had also been informed that he'd be receiving a new weapon, courtesy of his Lord, but that it would take a little while longer to be made. In the meantime, he practiced with the iron bows at the range.

He was glad to see that his inactivity hadn't taken away from his skill.

Niles took some time to get used to everything at his disposal now. The first day, he refused the assistance of a maid who came to help him run a bath, only to realize that he did not know how to get any hot water. His pride got the best of him and he washed in cold water from the pipes. Three days later, he began to sneeze, and finally swallowed his pride long enough to ask a maid where to get hot water.

The maid, bless her soul, only giggled and promised to be at his disposal should he require someone to fetch hot water from the distribution vat. Niles hated being waited upon like this, but he had no choice if he ever wanted to avoid catching a cold.

His stomach slowly settled once the physician cleared him off of broths and puddings. Slowly, he began to be able to digest the creamy and buttery meals prepared in the castle kitchen, which almost brought tears to his eye once more. The puncture wounds on his neck had healed, and Niles had picked at the scabs almost immediately to reveal the red skin underneath. His bruises faded, and he got some sleep in his temporary quarters in the barracks, which filled out the hollows of his cheekbones a little bit.

All in all, when he saw Lord Leo eight days later, he already looked a lot better.

"Niles," Prince Leo beckoned him over from the guards who had escorted him to his Lord's study upon his summons. Niles entered briskly, unsure how to behave in his position, and bowed his lead lightly to Prince Leo as he reached his desk.

"I am at your disposal, Milord," he offered lightly.

"Lovely," Prince Leo nodded, and continued scratching his quill pen on the parchment in front of him. It took a few minutes for him to be done, after which he folded the parchment, and apposed his wax seal onto it.

Niles perked up from where he stood when the letter was handed to him.

"Please deliver this for me," Prince Leo asked of him, already moving onto another task.

Niles hesitantly grabbed the parchment, trying to make out the letters neatly scribbled onto the front of it, but he'd never been good at reading, and Lord Leo seemed to notice this.

"It's destined for my older sister, Princess Camilla," Prince Leo frowned, glancing up at Niles' conflicted face. "Niles, can you not read?"

"I, uhh…" Hot shame coursed through Niles immediately, and he didn't have the strength to look back at his Lord. "I can, I just… take a while…"

"Do you write?"

"… Not in particular, no…"

"I see…" Prince Leo sighed, and leaned back into his seat with a look of resolution. Niles suddenly felt a strange apprehension welling up inside of him. It was day one as his Lord's retainer, and he had already let him down. At this rate, it wouldn't take long for Prince Leo to tire of Niles' incompetence, and then…

Niles had known that this was a bad idea. He should never have accepted. Death would have been kinder than the humiliation of failing at the tasks he was expected to fulfill.

"Milord, I-"

"Niles, deliver the letter to Princess Camilla, and then return here," Prince Leo simply ordered in a tone that left no room for argument. Niles retreated from his study, if only a bit embarrassed.

The delivery was a simple one to make, and he had returned to Leo soon enough. When he entered the study, another, older man was standing by Leo's desk, chatting to him in low tones.

"Niles," Prince Leo greeted him as soon as he entered, drawing the older man's attention to him. "Come. I would like you to meet Master Edmund. He used to tutor me as a child, and I have asked him to teach you to read and write. You will attend lessons with him every day until you are comfortable with your literacy." He finally raised his gaze to Niles, who was thrown back by the intense determination burning in his eyes. "No retainer of mine shall be left illiterate."

And more than being humbled by the idea of his Lord going out of his way for him, Niles was almost taken to his knees by the elation of belonging to someone. His Lord had referred to him as _his_. Nobody else's, but _his_. _His_ retainer.

At that moment, Niles forgot that he wasn't supposed to get attached.

"Whatever you wish for me, Milord," he bowed, just to hide the smile stretching across his face.

…-…-…-…-…-…-…

The court did not like Niles, which bode well, for Niles did not like the court.

Prince Leo didn't, either, but at least he did well at hiding it.

Niles, on the other hand, couldn't help but sneer as he watched over his Lord mingling with the nobles around him. His façade was cool and controlled, rather neutral and seemingly pleasant, but from the way his eyebrows twitched once in a while, Niles could tell that he was getting annoyed. He had not sipped the wine in his hand even once, even though in his place, Niles would have chugged the entire bottle.

His attention was drawn back to his Lord, who was faking laughter at one of the noble ladies' jests. He looked wholly uncomfortable at this point, and Niles did not hesitate to advance towards him when he locked gazes with him.

"Milord," he greeted as he reached the circle of nobles. They immediately made way for him, more in disgust at his proximity than anything else, and Niles momentarily relished at how much influence he had on them.

"Niles," Prince Leo greeted him curtly. "What is so important that you should disturb me in the middle of my exchange with the Duke and Duchess of Earthwell?"

"You have summons, Milord," Niles improvised. Lying was one of his absolute skills, after all. "Crown Prince Xander requires your presence in his study."

"I shan't keep him waiting, then," Prince Leo nodded calmly, turning to the Duke and Duchess. "I am afraid I must cut our meeting short. Lovely as it would be to continue, it seems that I must take my leave."

"Yes, of course, Milord," the Duke replied, nodding. The Duchess next to him curtsied, and Prince Leo took his leave with Niles following closely.

They headed out into the hallways of Castle Krakenburg, silent if not for the clicking of their heels on the marble floors. With most staff preoccupied with the gathering in the ballroom, the hallways were empty, and Leo threw his full glass of wine into the first trash bin he saw on his way to his quarters.

"What a waste of perfectly good wine, Milord," Niles deplored amusedly, wanting to steal some of the tension out of Prince Leo's shoulders.

"Were I not noble, it would have been illegal for me to drink any at this age, so it makes no difference as such," Prince Leo argued. "Besides. One never knows what is in a drink. I'd rather not take that chance."

"I would be honoured to taste for you," Niles offered half-jokingly.

"It's frowned upon for a retainer to be under the influence whilst doing his job, Niles," Prince Leo turned to him and rolled his eyes. "My reputation will be at stake if you get drunk."

"I would never get drunk enough to harm your reputation, Milord," Niles hummed lightly. "Or at least, I wouldn't show it."

That drew a little laugh out of Prince Leo, and strangely enough, all that Niles could feel was pride. If nothing, he had made his Lord happy in this one moment.

"Tell me, Niles," Prince Leo began again in a tone that indicated a new conversation altogether. "How old are you?"

"Twenty, Milord, but I have much experience past my age," Niles replied.

"And what is your day of birth?"

"I don't recall. It has never been of importance to me," Niles shrugged. "Not much time to celebrate on the streets when you're trying not to starve."

"Well, since you are not starving any longer, you should pick a day of birth, so that we may celebrate from now on," Prince Leo suggested, and for a second, it struck Niles that his Lord was just a child himself.

"Pick a day…?" he hummed in thought. He couldn't recall the day he was born. His memories of his early years had faded as well, and he didn't have a specific day he wanted to celebrate.

He didn't know when he was born, but he sure as hell remembered the day he had been reborn.

"I think I'd like to celebrate on the anniversary of the day you found me, Milord," Niles finally admitted, almost walking into his Lord when he suddenly stopped. "Is that appropriate?"

"Oh, absolutely," Prince Leo nodded too quickly. "I just… Wasn't expecting you to say that, is all."

Niles had nothing to reply to that, so he shrugged. The two continued their trek to the Prince's quarters in silence.

When they reached the bedroom, Niles entered with Leo and began their nightly routine immediately. Repetition had been his best friend this past month, and Niles had learned very quickly what was expected of him and what his Lord liked and didn't like.

He helped Leo out of his complicated clothing at first, unlacing the back almost tenderly and moving to undo his boots when Prince Leo fell onto his plush seat. As he did so, Prince Leo leaned over to grab a letter on the coffee table, and frowned as he popped the seal. He made short work of the letter, faster than Niles figured he would ever be able to read.

"You weren't lying," he finally stated, putting the letter down. Niles locked gazes with him, confused. "Crown Prince Xander did want to tell me something."

"Odd, isn't it?" In the month he had lived in Castle Krakenburg, Niles had yet to see the infamous Crown Prince. For him to speak to Prince Leo through a letter was oddly intimate. "Is there a matter of concern?"

"Well…" Prince Leo seemed to hesitate as Niles divested him of his boots as well. "You… You must be aware of the trouble going around the royal children these days, correct?"

"I have caught wind of it." Niles remained kneeling at his Lord's feet, wondering where this was going. "Something about a competition between the children of the many wives of the King?"

"Essentially," Prince Leo grunted. "It's been going on for twenty-two years. Since Crown Prince Xander's mother died in childbirth, really. All the royal children are of Father's blood, but our mothers are all different. And since our births, our mothers have fought between themselves to determine who will triumph as Father's consort and be crowned Queen."

"I suppose you are not spared from their petty squabbles," Niles commented distastefully.

"Your tongue, Niles," Lord Leo warned half-heartedly, and then sighed. "Unfortunately, you are correct. The children have no choice, either. If their mothers fight, they must fight as well. Usually, we are only locked in a battle of wits and skills, to rise above the others in our studies and in performance, but occasionally, you may have one or the other make use of some… unsavoury tactics to gain the upper hand."

"And your mother, if I may ask?" Niles inquired curiously, eager to know more about the man he served.

"Dead," Prince Leo simply shrugged. "She was murdered in a fit of rage from another one of the concubines when I was ten years old. She was not one to treat me as her child, however, so I do not mourn her."

"Understandable." After all, Niles didn't know, and didn't care what had happened to his own mother. He didn't need her, not after everything she had done to him.

"Anyway. Crown Prince Xander and I actually spend quite some time together," Prince Leo changed the topic. "From the royal children left, he says he feels closest to me, for he sees much potential for growth in me. He teaches me much in politics and military tactics in his sparse free time." A fond smile was tugging at his lips, and Niles was glad he had not missed the soft expression blooming on him. "In his letter, he warns me of some disturbing rumours he heard from the servants and maids. He gives no specifics, but he tells me to be wary in the upcoming days. I suppose he expects an attempt on my life."

"I will guard you relentlessly, in that case, Milord," Niles immediately volunteered.

"I should hope so, retainer of mine."

That drew a chuckle out of Niles, and he rose.

"No one is more suited for assassination than I am," he assured him. "I know all the tricks of the trade. You may rest peacefully, knowing that this scum is protecting you."

"Reassuring." Prince Leo rose as well, heading for the washroom. "Now. I'm too tired for a bath, so I would appreciate if you could just bring me some washcloths and clean clothing. After that, I will retire right away."

"Of course," Niles nodded good-naturedly, heading for his Prince's closet as the Prince went to clean up.

When the door closed, Niles immediately set into action, touring the room quickly to determine the dangers, and the potential weapons around his Lord. He checked the balcony as well and estimated how difficult of a climb it would be to reach his Lord's bedchambers from the outside. Finally, he drafted an escape plan, should they need to run, but was unable to fine-tune it as Prince Leo's voice came from the washroom.

"Niles! Do hurry with my clothing!"

"Right away, my Liege," Niles chuckled, hurrying to vacate to his first task now that his other duty was done.

Regardless of the precautions, he fell asleep at Prince Leo's door that night.

…-…-…-…-…-…-…

The attempt on Prince Leo's life came three days later. The Prince himself did not seem too concerned, and Niles was concerned that he had grown complacent because this wasn't the first, nor the second time this had happened. However, this was the first time it happened with Niles, and he wasn't about to be the reason for breaking his Lord's winning streak.

It was late at night when it happened, thankfully on a night where Niles remained late in his Lord's room, reading in the moonlight while his Lord dozed off. At first, all that Niles heard was the breeze whistling against the glass balcony door. However, he had years of experience in infiltration, and his ears immediately picked up the subtle thump of boots on the balcony, of someone who had just swung over the railing.

He didn't hesitate. He put the book down and retreated against the wall, blending into the shadows. When the assassin began to fiddle with the lock on the balcony door, much too loudly for Niles' personal liking, he unsheathed the dagger at his waist, and quieted his breathing.

The assassin slid the door open moments later, and tiptoed into the room. Niles quickly surveyed him. He seemed to be armed with a dagger in his dominant hand. It seemed to be the only weapon he had on him, so Niles inferenced that it must be poisoned. Anyone foolish enough to attempt an infiltration of this caliber with nothing but a regular knife must've been extremely brave, or extremely stupid. This assassin moved quietly enough not to be either one, so Niles constructed a plan with the presumably poisoned weapon in mind.

He let the assassin take a few more steps, just enough to get out of his peripheral vision, and then pounced.

The motion was ingrained inside his very bones, for it was hard to forget fifteen years of experience in a single month. Niles knew he had not lost his touch, but it was almost ridiculously easy to disarm the assassin, who was taken by surprise entirely. In a minute, he had the poisoned dagger out of his hands, the assassin on the ground, and his boot heel digging in his back.

Somewhere in there, Prince Leo had roused, and had quietly watched his retainer take care of the threat in record time.

"Milord," Niles finally addressed him, panting lightly after his scuffle. "Shall I dispose of him?"

"Who sent him?" Prince Leo asked lightly, clearly used to this routine. Too much for his own good.

"Who is paying you?" Niles relayed the question, digging harder, harder enough to feel his spine under his foot. "Answer!"

"I won't say a thing," the man spat to the side, earning him a kick to the face. Which he reeled, Niles turned him onto his back and knelt to grip him by the collar. When the man focused in on Niles, he had a knife to his throat.

"Talk, or I will bleed you out, slowly, painfully, until you're begging me to die," Niles hissed, pressing harder to begin drawing blood. The man's eyes were steely regardless of the threat.

And then, suddenly, they widened.

"Wait a minute." There was a slight tremble in his voice now. "You're not… you're not Zero… are you?"

Niles froze. Immediately he switched his blade to the man's eye, pressing his blade underneath his eyeball and holding him down with a hand to his throat.

"How do you know me?" he grunted, his situation forgotten for just a moment. He didn't recognize the man himself, but he had worked with numerous assassins in his time. He couldn't be expected to remember them all.

"You're a legend in the streets," the man wheezed out. "Zero… No wonder you disappeared. You've been holed in here with the rest of the royal pigs!"

Niles dug his blade into the man's eye.

Prince Leo clicked his tongue and covered his ears when the man screamed.

The man continued to scream, which brought guards barreling down Prince Leo's door, weapons brandished. The sight of Prince Leo's retainer wrestling another man on the floor with said Prince watching calmly was not one they expected.

"My retainer has this under control," Prince Leo assured them much too coolly for a sixteen-year-old about to be murdered, and waved them off. "You may leave."

"But, Milord!"

"I said, leave!"

The guards hesitated, but there was nothing much they could do against an order from the Prince. Niles was sure they would be waiting outside, though. Good. Easier to get rid of the body when you had help, after all.

"Now," Niles returned his attention to the whimpering man who was now clutching his bleeding eye in agony. "Talk, or I'll go for the other one. And then, since they'll both be useless, I'll carve them out. If I'm nice enough, I'll even gift you an eyepatch of mine. Since you know of me, you know that I will not hesitate."

"I-I was c-commissioned by a woman from t-the Castle," the man stuttered, trembling violently.

"Her name?"

"Andrea."

"I know who that is," Prince Leo interjected. "This will do."

"What shall I do with him, Milord?" Niles asked, his grip still unrelenting.

Prince Leo regarded the man coldly, with none of the compassion that Niles had been given the night he had been in a similar situation, and pursed his lips.

"Get rid of him."

Niles seriously wondered what his Prince had seen in someone like him to keep him alive. Essentially, he was no different from the thug begging for his life underneath him.

He hated begging. Good thing he was desensitized to it.

Out of consideration for his Lord's carpet, he covered the man's mouth, and strangled him until his begging stopped entirely.

Once the ordeal was finished, Niles rose, wiping his bloody dagger on the assassin's corpse.

"I fear there might be a small bloodstain on the carpet after this incident," he reported coolly.

"No matter. The maids will scrub it out," Prince Leo replied casually. "Now, if you would be so kind as to remove the body from my chambers…"

"Of course, Milord." Niles made quick work of the whole thing, especially when he got the guards involved. When the returned, Prince Leo was lying back down in bed, covers pulled up to his chin.

Niles sighed, and sat back down by the balcony window. The chances of a second attempt on the same night were close to nil, but he wanted to stay, if only for his own peace of mind.

He dozed off, but, being a naturally light sleeper, he awoke to the small sounds coming from the bed.

He couldn't tell in the darkness if his Prince was moving, but the sounds coming from him were definitely muffled sobs.

Good.

If his Prince still cried, it meant that he was still human.

Niles was way past that point, but if his Lord retained his humanity, that would be good enough for him.

"Niles," Prince Leo finally called once he'd calmed. Niles approached him, pretending he hadn't heard his Liege crying, and knelt at his bed. Prince Leo took a second to compose himself, and then turned on his side to face him.

"Tell me what to do, Milord," Niles murmured, his eye glossed over and empty. He was falling into a very familiar pattern here, and Prince Leo could definitely tell.

"Andrea," he simply murmured. "She is a retainer to Princess Rosaline. This is not the first time that Rosaline has tried to have me killed."

"I understand, Milord," Niles nodded, rising without hesitation.

"Niles," Prince Leo called again, and when Niles looked at him, he'd covered his face with his hands in a rare moment of weakness. "I… I apologize for asking this of you. When I took you away from your old life, I wanted you to start anew, but for something like this…"

"Say no more, Milord," Niles whispered, leaning down. In a moment of boldness -affection?-, he gently pulled his Lord's hands away from his face, just to convey everything he couldn't say with words through his gaze. "You've given me everything, Prince Leo. I'd be more than willing to give everything for you. Even whatever is left of this dirty soul of mine."

Prince Leo glanced at him a little longer, and then drew his hands away, to his chest.

"Return to me," he murmured, and turned to face away from Niles.

"Of course, my Prince."

Niles turned, and strode away with utmost confidence.

That night, he dozed off at the foot of his Liege's bed.

The next morning, the Castle began preparing two funerals.

…-…-…-…-…-…-…

Niles met King Garon only five months after he began serving Prince Leo. Honestly, he could have done with going longer, but he supposed that at some point, he had to meet his Lord's father.

The opportunity came as an invitation to dine with the King for Prince Leo, who did not hesitate to sneer when Niles finished reading the letter aloud. He'd been getting a lot better as of late, but Prince Leo wasn't expressing his usual approval at his reading prowess. Probably due to the contents of the letter.

"May I ask what my duties will be for you for this occasion, Milord?" Niles asked as Prince Leo paced the room.

"Retainers will be expected to stand by the wall to oversee the meal," Prince Leo sighed. "You won't be expected to do much but to accompany me to and from the dining hall. And of course, should you ever be spoken to, hold your tongue unless I specify otherwise."

Niles felt like that wasn't a written rule, but something that his Prince had just come up with to protect him. A strange warmth swelled in his chest, but he swallowed it down with mild embarrassment.

"Of course."

"This is probably a dinner for all the remaining royal children. Crown Prince Xander, Princess Camilla, and Princess Elise will also be present, I am guessing. I don't think Prince Kamui will be brought from the Northern Fortress for the occasion, so it should be a small event."

"Very well," Niles replied, not sure what else to say. Prince Leo still didn't seem at ease.

"Niles…" he began, stopping his pacing to look at him with utmost seriousness. "I don't have to remind you to be careful. I have my doubts as for the purpose of this invitation."

"I shan't even blink, if that is what you would have me do," Niles nodded, understanding. Something about the idea of having dinner with his father had Prince Leo spooked, and his apprehension was also Niles'.

Of course, he understood a little more once they actually attended the dinner a few days later.

Prince Leo was dressed in full-on royal garb for the occasion. Niles had offhandedly commented that he wouldn't be able to eat with so many layers of heavy fabric, leather, and decorative armour smothering him, and Prince Leo had simply let out a breathy chuckle at that. Niles himself was wearing his usual uniform, although the maids had been ordered to groom him, and he looked a little more presentable with his hair tied up and his tattered eyepatch replaced with a nicer, more uncomfortable leather one.

This seemed to be a big deal.

They joined the other royal children and their retainers at the entrance of the dining hall. Niles himself had only seen them a handful of times (Princess Elise more so than the rest), but he would never cease to be taken aback (and mildly disgusted) at their regal appearance.

Crown Prince Xander was dressed similarly to Prince Leo, if only with more golden details embroidered on his clothing to set him apart from the rest. A heavy-looking circlet rested on his curly locks, but the intimidating appearance melted away when he smiled at Prince Leo's arrival.

"Brother," he greeted softly. "It has been a while since I've had the pleasure to see you."

"Prince Xander," Leo bowed his head lightly. "The pleasure is all mine."

"Drop the formalities when we are alone, Leo," Xander chuckled, putting a hand on Prince Leo's head fondly without tousling his hair much.

"I apologize. It's just… been a while since I've seen you, Xander," Prince Leo chuckled, leaning into his brother's touch.

"Oh my," Princess Camilla hummed from behind him. "I'm a tad jealous, Leo. You greet Xander as such, but you do not even give your big sister a hug!"

"I was coming to you next, Camilla," Prince Leo chuckled, heading for the voluptuous woman radiating beauty. She even made Niles' heart skip a beat when she threw her elegantly curled hair over her shoulder, the tips of it brushing her gorgeous dress. Every time she breathed, her corset moved her impressive chest up, dragging attention to her curves and the jewelry in which she was adorned.  

However, Prince Leo was interrupted on his way by a small figure barreling into him immediately, throwing her arms around him.

"Me first, Leo!" Princess Elise giggled, her long pigtails bouncing when she dug her face into her brother's waist. "I missed you! You never play with me anymore!"

"I apologize, Elise," Prince Leo chuckled, patting her head softly. "I have been very busy lately."

"Boo, you're no fun," Prince Elise stuck her tongue out at him, doubly childish with her puffy dress. If Niles was not mistaken, she was only three years younger than his Liege, but that was hard to believe with how tiny and childish she looked.

"Come now, we can go riding together soon," Prince Leo assured her, and then moved to embrace his older sister. "You're welcome to join us, too, Camilla."

"I'm more of a wyvern person myself," she chuckled huskily, pressing Prince Leo into her prominent bust. He didn't seem bothered.

"It's so much fun to be all together again!" Elise cooed excitedly. "It's been so long!"

"Now, now. Behave yourself, Elise," Prince Xander chided gently, a soft smile on his face. "Don't let your excitement carry you away in front of our Father."

At mention of King Garon, the mood visibly dropped. Even Niles could feel it from where he stood next to the other retainers.

"We should enter," Prince Leo suggested, and they all lined up. The retainers quietly lined up behind the royals as well, and Niles followed their lead, still relatively new at his job.

"Ah, just a moment, Leo," Prince Xander stopped him. "Your collar is inside out."

"You could have told me earlier!" Prince Leo blushed and rushed to fix it. Niles couldn't help but chuckle lowly.

"It's much more entertaining to see you get flustered," Prince Xander teased him, and they all shared a small chuckle before the double doors opened before them.

"His Highness is ready for you," the servant announced, holding the door open for them. The four royal children stepped into the room in unison, their retainers following dutifully.

Niles lined up against the wall, mimicking the other retainers, as his Lord went over to the table where King Garon's hulking figure was already seated.

Pleasantries were exchanged, and the royal children were allowed to sit. Niles already foresaw that this dinner would take forever and braced himself for boredom.

Indeed, the conversation was dull, and the entire thing felt almost rehearsed. King Garon asked them all about their studies and their duties, and almost always found a way to slip criticism into his replies. It got old very quickly.

Over dessert, things got a bit more interesting, if not unpleasant.

"Now, onto important matters," King Garon rumbled on as their dinner plates were removed. "I've summoned you four here today to announce to you that you are to cease your petty rivalries from now on."

Confusion visibly went across the four of them, even the stoic Crown Prince.

"You are the only four royal children left in this castle, and I deem it an appropriate number. You have proven yourselves and have risen above the others, and for that, I commend you. You are officially, children of mine, Princes and Princesses of Nohr."

The four of them echoed their thanks, but none of it seemed heartfelt. They'd all sacrificed a lot to get this far.

"If I may ask, Father," Prince Xander piped up. "Will Elise's or Camilla's mother be crowned Queen?"

"Neither," King Garon answered with utmost seriousness. "I have decided to forgo a consort. I already have a council, and in my recent communing with the great dragon Anankos, I have gotten all the answers to my questions. I have no need for a Queen."

"What shall become of them?" Prince Leo asked, fearing the answer. He was right to do so.

"They shall be executed come tomorrow. I had never intended to place a whore onto the Throne, after all."

Niles almost missed the small gasp that slipped through Princess Elise's lips. To her credit, she didn't protest out loud, though. All four of them were somber, but complied quietly. It was almost a disheartening sight for Niles, who was intimately acquainted with despair as well.

"With all due respect, your Highness, perhaps it is best to let them live," Prince Xander suggested in a voice that probably wasn't as confident as he would've liked.

King Garon picked up on it immediately.

"Question me again, Xander, and I shan't be so forgiving," he warned. "They hang at the gallows tomorrow along with the other wretches accumulated in the castle dungeons."

Niles shuddered, because half a year ago, he would've hung at the gallows, too.

"Since you are the official royal children of Nohr, I expect that you will excel more than usual at your duties and studies," King Garon rerouted the conversation. Niles noticed how his Lord had not touched his dessert at all. The others barely had, as well. "As for security, I am aware that Elise is the only one who possesses two retainers, and so I would ask that the rest of you pick a second retainer."

"Do you have suggestions, Father?" Prince Xander asked.

"I will have a tournament organized for those interested. You may choose from its victors," the King suggested offhandedly.

Finally, he raised his eyes to the retainers lining the wall, and critically appraised them. Niles felt like his gaze lingered much longer than necessary on him, but did not buckle under the pressure of scrutiny from the King of Nohr.

"Your retainer is damaged, Leo," the King grunted finally, turning to his son, who had frozen in place. "What good is he with a missing eye?"

"He's very talented with the bow and knife, Father. I would entrust him with my life," Prince Leo answered with such honesty that it almost shook Niles to the core.

"How does a man with no peripheral vision and no depth perception use a bow?" the King mocked. Niles did not react. He had been on the receiving end of much worse before. "Find yourself a better retainer, Leo. Broken things belong in the trash."

And if nothing else had shaken him so far, this definitely did.

Because Niles felt, deep in his bones, that it was true.

He was broken, and did not belong by Prince Leo's side.

He had never been particularly self-conscious, not in his line of work, at least, but now… Now he felt naked and vulnerable, more so than ever before. His knees shook, but he stayed upright, if only for his Lord's honour.

"He is not broken," Prince Leo suddenly retorted in a dangerous show of defiance. Everybody froze at that, and Niles' breath caught in his throat. The look the King was giving his son was unnerving, and Niles would kill himself before he was the cause for trouble for his Lord.

He opened his mouth to speak, only reining himself in at the last second as he remembered his Lord's advice. He trusted Prince Leo to speak for him until spoken to. For the first time in his life, he trusted someone else.

"Then prove it to me," the King humoured him. "Have your retainer face my soldiers in single combat tomorrow. I shall be the one to tell if he is worthy of walking the palace walls or not."

"I accept," Prince Leo replied fearlessly. "I will prove to you that he is a man of worth."

The whole conversation was overwhelming, and Niles almost stumbled when his head began to swim. He wanted to leave already. This had gone on for much too long.

"Very well," the King nodded gruffly, and finally turned his attention away from Prince Leo. "Xander, have you not disciplined your retainer already? Her hair is of such garish colours that it is almost shameful to have her seen by your side. And you, Camilla. I would have expected you to choose someone better suited than an assassin."

Niles was glad that the focus was off of himself, and that the other retainers were now squirming uncomfortably before the King's critical gaze. He took a strange pleasure in watching them sweat, glad that he wasn't the only one suffering here.

Later on, as they left, Prince Leo parted with his siblings quickly, leaving Princess Camilla to comfort a sobbing Princess Elise. Prince Leo seemed to have much on his mind, if the clacking of his boot heels had anything to do with his mood.

They reached his chambers quickly, where Niles barely closed the door before Prince Leo had thrown his cape onto the floor. The golden clasps jingled as they hit the ground violently, and Prince Leo growled in frustration.

"Niles," he sighed finally once he had gotten the anger out of his system. "I owe you an apology."

"You owe me nothing, Milord," Niles answered, gliding over to him and gently beginning to undress him. Prince Leo slumped at his touch, betraying how burdened he felt. "If anything, I should be the one to apologize for tarnishing your image."

"I did not ask if you were alright with single combat. My emotions carried me away," Prince Leo sighed, pulling his arms out of his sleeves. "If you are hurt tomorrow, it will be on me."

"None of that, my Prince," Niles attempted to soothe him. "My shortcomings are my own to bear, just as my successes are yours to bask in."

"That sounds unfair."

"Life is unfair," Niles hummed, removing his Lord's shirt as well. "I've come to accept that. Thus, I will accept the hand that is dealt to me and make the best of it. And I will not fail you."

"I know," Prince Leo murmured, and it was so heartfelt that Niles almost felt like he was worthy of his appreciation.

Almost.

The next morning, they attended the hanging of the criminals in the castle dungeons, with the princesses' mothers first in line. Niles did not react to any of their deaths, having seen this process too many times for someone his age. Next to them, Camilla held Elise when she turned her eyes away from the gruesome scene. 

When the next batch of criminals came up, Niles recognized a few of them as thieves with whom he used to run heists. One of them had been there the night he had been left behind in the castle.

They saw him, too, at the last moment. The traitor thief raised his eyes to him as if in prayer, wide and pleading, and Niles felt zero remorse at watching the noose tighten around his neck.

"Zero! Zero, please, help us! Spare us!"

Niles was aware that Lord Leo was glancing sideways at him, watching his reaction, but he had none to show. Past relishing the fate that had befallen those who'd abandoned him, he felt empty.

And when the bodies hung, swaying in the breeze, Niles remembered that he had not felt sadness because he had not made the mistake of getting attached.

…-…-…-…-…-…-…

Niles did not feel any fear as he stepped into the Throne room, where the duel was to take place. He did not shrink when the gazes of King Garon and his entourage fell upon him, if only because he could only focus on one pair of eyes in the crowd.

Prince Leo sat next to the King, fists clenched on his knees and back straight, betraying his anxiety. Anything other than a controlled mask of confidence did not suit him, Niles decided, and as he walked towards the middle of the hall, he knew that he had to do everything he could to soothe his Lord's fears. He should not have to worry for someone like him, after all.

His opponent was a sword-wielder, and Niles' confidence fell a bit short when a servant handed him an iron sword as well. He should have known that this would not be a battle in his favour. Still, he wasn't bad with blades. He would be able to handle himself.

He turned to bow to his Prince, and then, the duel began.

Niles had fought a lot before. Usually, the scuffles he'd find himself in were widespread, and required him to have his eyes everywhere at once. Rarely had he ever faced off one-on-one, and even then, it had been for sport in brawling taverns. The movement of a swordsman was similar to that of a pugilist, but his weapon made the entire difference. Niles didn't lie to himself.

He'd probably gotten in over his head.

He fell on the defensive almost immediately, his quick reflexes allowing him to deflect the heavy blows raining upon him with an occasional parry in between. His footwork was nimble as always, letting him slip out of range, duck, and jump to avoid the swings. The other soldier seemed to be balanced in terms of speed, offense, and defense, and Niles briefly considered complaining that his opponent was clearly better trained than him.

However, he was Prince Leo's retainer. He did not have the luxury of complaint. He represented his Lord, and there was no way he'd let him down.

They danced.

Niles' stamina was his strong suit, and when his opponent began to slow, he was still on the balls of his feet. He had not landed a single blow just yet, unlike his opponent, who had gotten some clean slashes on his arms, but regardless, he still stood tall.

He didn't know how long it had been that he had been locked in combat, but he could hear his crowd getting restless at the lack of action. He began to realize that the King was not expecting victory from him, only to lose with strength.

He hated to disappoint, but sometimes, it was necessary.

He waited for the next opening to lunge, and unexpectedly pushed the soldier back into a defensive flurry of his own. Iron rang out against iron, but Niles was not skilled enough with a blade of this size to do much more than force the soldier into a defensive stance. He was aware of his strengths and weaknesses, and blade work had never been one of his strengths, if only because swords were hard to come by and impractical for thieving.

"Cut it short. I have better things to attend to," Niles suddenly heard King Garon grumble out, and jumped back to reassess the situation.

A second soldier broke from the circle around their battleground, and unsheathed his sword.

Niles almost missed the way Prince Leo's eyes widened in horror. Such a show of emotion was unusual of him, though Niles briefly enjoyed having this sort of influence on his Lord.

He could not fail him now.

If he were honest with himself, his reflexes were the only thing that kept him alive in the following onslaught. With two enemies now, he did more dodging than blocking, and essentially ran from conflict, hoping to tire them out. However, his aching limbs were dragging him down, too, and at some point, he had no choice but to lock one of them with his sword.

It was short after that. With his weapon occupied by one, there was only so much he could do to avoid the other. It took a hit with the hilt of a sword to his head, and he had fallen to the ground.

"Enough!"

Niles cracked his eyes open, his head swimming with pain, only to realize that Lord Leo had risen.

"Father, there is only so much a single man can do, outnumbered without his weapon of choice," he turned to King Garon, whose face was twisted into an angry frown now. "I beseech you to acknowledge his skill and let him go. Niles has many talents in fields other than-"

A heavy backhand made contact with Prince Leo's temple, and he cried out when he hit the ground, barely catching himself from tumbling down the steps to the Throne. Nobody moved to help the young prince up, not even his own siblings, who looked entirely uncomfortable, mildly horrified, and terrifyingly resigned.

Niles saw red.

"Shut your mouth, you insolent boy!" King Garon was yelling down at his son. "How dare you speak against me as such? You are nothing, with no right to question my authority!"

Prince Leo still hadn't risen, but when he pushed himself to his knees, Niles noticed that he was bleeding lightly.

Anger overtook him.

It was his fault that his Lord had been harmed.

He pushed himself to his knees, faster than his two opponents could react, and bolted. There were cries of protest, but Niles did not pay them any heed, running straight for a soldier holding the perimeter. The young boy, to his defense, looked extremely confused as to what to do with a royal retainer charging at him, and did not resist when Niles tugged the bow out of his hands, exchanging it for his sword. He had time to pick one arrow out of his quiver before his opponents were upon him again.

He dodged to put some distance between them, and cocked his arrow as they approached him. He had only one arrow for two opponents. He had to improvise somehow.

He lowered his bow, and held it and his arrow tightly in one hand. When the soldiers came within range, Niles charged at them.

He ducked under a horizontal slash and tackled one soldier to the ground, rolling out of the way of the second's strike. He blocked the second strike with his bow and kicked the soldier in the solar plexus, winding him. Another kick sent him stumbling back, and a high kick to the head had him sprawled on the ground.

Niles heard the other soldier charging at him from behind. He only had one shot to make this work, and somehow, it felt like the challenge of a lifetime. It was exhilarating.

He took a running start, and jumped onto the back of the soldier winded before him for a boost. The instinctive recoil of the soldier's body gave him extra power, and he jumped backwards, arching his body right over the soldier rushing at him. The soldier himself seemed mesmerized by his stunt, and Niles couldn't help but smirk.

His body carried him in a graceful backflip, at the apex of which he notched his arrow.

As he fell, he released the taut string, and the arrow flew through the first soldier's neck, and into the second soldier's ribs.

Niles landed without stumbling, and his two opponents fell to the ground, clutching their bleeding wound and crying out in agony.

Nobody spoke, awed by what they had just witnessed.

In a show of cocky defiance, Niles swept into a low bow before the King and his entourage.

"My victory is entirely for my Prince Leo," he announced, and the crowd erupted into hysterical chatter.

Niles didn't care what they said. Through it all, he locked gazes with his Lord, who had slowly come off the ground, and guiltily revelled in the expression of relief spread across his face.

Immediately afterwards, the King dismissed them, half-heartedly allowing Prince Leo to keep his retainer, and the two of them were quick to leave the throne room. Niles' wounds burned, but he did not complain as he followed Prince Leo's brisk walk towards his quarters.

They walked in silence, only speaking once they were safe within the confines of Prince Leo's study.

"Niles." Prince Leo's voice was raspy, his eyes sunken and his skin stark white against the dark red of dried blood on his temple. Uncaring of his own wounds, Niles immediately busied himself with a washbasin to clean his injury.

Prince Leo did not know what else to say, and let his retainer lead him to his desk chair once the washcloths were ready.

"Milord," Niles muttered as he gently wiped the small injury on his temple. It looked like a tear from a piece of metal, probably a ring on the King's fingers as he backhanded his son. The memory of it sent white hot rage coursing through Niles' veins. "Please, I must beg something of you."

"What is it?" Prince Leo asked, mildly surprised. Since the day they met, Niles had not asked for much, let alone begged for anything.

"Never injure yourself for me again," Niles continued, straining the bloody washcloths into the basin, which had turned a light pink. "My job is to protect you, and I will take all the pain that is meant for you if I have to. But you… you have no obligation towards me. So I would ask that… you never again put yourself in harm's way for my sake."

Prince Leo gazed at him inscrutably, not even flinching when Niles cleaned his wound tenderly, almost lovingly. Niles didn't know what he was thinking, but knowing his Prince, it was something unexpected.

"Niles…" he began again, stopping his retainer with a hand on his. He pulled away the hand from his head, and took the washcloth from him. Prince Leo then rolled his retainer's sleeve up, and began dabbing at a slice on his forearm.

Niles forgot to breathe for a second.

"I cannot promise that entirely," Prince Leo continued, eyes downcast as he busied himself with his retainer's wounds. "As a Prince to his retainer, I can swear that I will keep out of harm's way…" He shut his eyes softly, and for a moment, he looked young, so, so young, like some of the boys that Niles had stolen with, some of the boys in the brothels he'd serviced, some of the boys that Niles had found himself sharing shelter with. Prince Leo was young, painfully so, and Niles seemed to have forgotten that fact buried underneath layers of silk and armour. "But in good conscience… As a friend to another… I cannot promise that."

And for the first time in his life, Niles felt like he belonged, truly, fully, entirely. That he was needed, that he was meant to exist here, kneeling in front of this majestic young man who cried for him and who cleaned his injuries even though months ago, he was worth less than the dirt in the streets. He felt alive. He felt.

His single remaining eye welled up with tears, and he ducked his head so that his Prince would not see him cry. His throat was locked, choked up with emotion that he hadn't ever felt to this magnitude before. He felt overwhelmed, more broken and yet whole like never before, and the only person to blame for these conflicting feelings was the youngest prince of Nohr, his saviour, his charge, his friend.

"Niles. You did incredibly well today," Prince Leo murmured as he dabbed the last of the blood away, holding onto his retainer's calloused palm tightly. "I may have had my doubts in the past, but I know now that you… are everything I've ever needed."

Niles tightened his grip on his Lord's hand, but did not raise his gaze to him for fear of lapsing into sobs.

"Thank you, Leo. I will not let you down."

…-…-…-…-…-…-…

The tournament came and went, and Niles ended up getting acquainted with a strange character named Odin Dark, whom Leo picked as his second retainer. Smart choice, as much as Niles hated to admit it, as his own prowess with magic was nothing to boast about. Leo probably wanted someone with whom he could have discussions on the same wavelength.

Admittedly, for all his quirks, Odin was a loyal retainer, and in the year and a half that they spent serving Leo together, they developed a strange sense of camaraderie between the three of them.

Ever since the day of the duel, Niles had been forgetting more and more the dangers of attachment. A new door had been opened for him, and though he never forgot his past, he never dwelled on it, either.

First, it was Leo, then Odin. Then, he got acquainted with Odin's friends Laslow and Selena, began to get comfortable teasing the youngest Nohrian princess. Soon after, he was making lewd comments to rile up Princess Camilla, and had set his sights on the handsome Nohrian prince from the Northern Fortress, Kamui.

Two years seemed to pass by like a blur, and when the joint war against the Vallites began in earnest, Leo was well into his eighteenth year of life. Much too young for war, and much too experienced for peace.

Niles swore to stand by him regardless of anything. As a retainer, and as a friend.

And when he laid out under the stars during their military campaign, away from the bonfires and laughter of the camp, he no longer wondered what it was like to feel free. These days, he only wondered what the price would be for having been granted so many things.

And then, he would swallow that thought, and would wonder if Leo knew anything about stars. He'd cross that bridge when he got there. For now, he allowed himself to rediscover what it felt like to be happy.

…-…-…-…-…-…-…

Niles had never lost the habit of surveying their surroundings for possible dangers, just like the first night when he'd prevented his Lord's assassination. That's why his help was invaluable (other than his archery skills, his lock picking talent, and some other… unsavoury skills). Prince Kamui took his counsel very seriously, and Niles just loved exaggerating a bit, just to see the naïve Prince's eyebrows dip in concern. If one thing hadn't changed after all this time, it was his love for teasing others.

The concern he'd raised about the mountain pass they'd be taking was one that even the most unskilled tactician could figure out. Their enemies had access to higher ground, and should they be ambushed, they would have little chance of survival.

Prince Kamui and the royals had considered this carefully, but had agreed that the risk was worth it. Their exhausted army could not stand a march around the mountains before resupplying.

They sent a rider to check the safety of the pass, and when she came back with nothing to report, they set out. Niles did not trust the plan at all. Therefore, as he walked with his Lord's horse's reins in one hand, his bow remained in the other.

He had been right, of course.

About halfway through the pass, it began to rain.

Arrows, that is.

Having expected the development, the mages immediately set up a barrier, and the fliers who had been hiding above the clouds swooped down on their risky endeavour to rid the archers from the top of the hills.

On the ground, the healers retreated next to the mages for extra protection, and all weapons were unsheathed. The march continued, weathering the storm, and when the army blocking their passage came into view, they charged.

Niles was used to this at this point. The constant adrenalin rush of taking down Vallite after Vallite was nothing new to him, and he even enjoyed the sport at this point. Next to him, Odin shook the ground with his awesome spells, though Niles never stopped being impressed when the vines of Brynhildr burst forth from the ground, goring their enemies without hesitation.

Their army was a fearsome one indeed, with two royal families at its head. Niles briefly wondered what it would have been like if Prince Kamui had been unable to unite the two, and had picked a side. It surely would not have ended as such. Already, his Lord was making friends (as much as he hated to admit it) with the Hoshidan prince, and Niles was glad that he was coming out of his shell a little more.

He kept his mind occupied as he fought, nimble enough to avoid most injuries. Vallite soldiers were almost mechanical, programmed to fight, so their moves were predictable and easy to avoid. The only danger was being overwhelmed by their numbers.

The battle raged on, and slowly but surely, the Vallite ranks thinned. Soon enough, the mages were escorting the healers through the blockade, with swordsmen and lance-wielders flanking them and cutting down the enemies in their path. With the archers providing cover, the axe-wielders were ramming into the remaining barricade, tearing through the enemy soldiers with ease now that their numbers had fallen.

All signs pointed to a victory over this dangerous gamble of theirs. Niles even believed it for a whole minute.

And then, from the other side of the mountain pass, a second army came galloping, with the clear intention of boxing the Hoshidan and Nohrian forces into the narrow pass.

"Reinforcements from behind!" Niles cried out, though Prince Kamui had already noticed, and was now yelling new orders at the top of his lungs. A horn was blown, and the Kinshi knights of Hoshido left the hilltops to swoop down at the new army heading rapidly towards them. The archers also turned their bows to the newcomers, Niles amongst them, whilst the mages busied themselves with knocking down parts of the pass to try and crush the infantry.

They were outnumbered, with their army cut in half, their healers out of range, and with fresh reinforcements coming.

It wasn't long for Prince Kamui to sound the retreat.

"Make a run for it!" he ordered, motioning for his troops to run for the opening they'd created at the other end of the pass.

Niles fell into step with Prince Leo's horse, keeping up with the slow gallop as his Lord twisted to cast more spells at the oncoming army.

Branches and vines burst from the ground, creating a physical barricade to hold back the enemy, but it was soon broken down. The tidal wave of Vallite soldiers was hot at their heels, much too close for Niles' liking.

At this rate, they would not make it to the end of the pass, into an open field where they could have better vantage over their enemies.

At this rate, Leo would not make it.

"Odin!" he cried out, catching his fellow retainer's attention.

"Winded as I am, I lend you an ear, fellow stalker of the night!" Odin cried back, completely out of breath.

"Make sure our Prince makes it out!" Niles ordered him with no room for argument.

"Niles, what is the meaning of this!?" Leo cried out immediately, but Niles did not reply.

He stopped, turned around, and cocked an arrow.

Behind him, there was more screaming, but Niles could not discern it any longer. Good. It means that Odin was doing his job. Just as Niles was doing his.

He didn't seem to be the only one in the army who had gotten the idea of staying behind. Soon enough, their knights had taken the front lines and swordsmen had fortified their improvised line of defense. Archers and mages had also stayed behind to provide long-range defense. Nohrians and Hoshidans alike had decided that their life was worth giving for this cause.

Niles had no illusions. Their job was not to win; merely to delay, and allow the others an escape. He knew he would die here.

It was time to repay his debt to his Prince.

He did not know what to say to halt the trembling in his knees. He was painfully aware of his mortality, and he could not help but be a little afraid, faced with the tidal wave before him. He was not afraid of death, nor pain, but he did not want his death to be meaningless. He could not fail here.

"For the future!" Someone yelled a rallying cry amongst them, and, astonishingly enough, Niles pushed his lungs to join in. For his Lord's future.

The Vallites crashed upon them.

Niles fought. He fought tooth and nail, fingers bleeding from the incessant notch of arrows on string. When he ran out of arrows, he used his bow like a club, and when his bow broke, he pulled daggers from his waist, and kept fighting.

The Vallites did not halt, their one-track mind pushing them to burst past the blockade with all their might. Niles did not stop when blades ripped through his skin, when lightning set his nerves on fire and when fire singed his skin, when arrows embedded themselves in his legs, when he was tackled, pushed against the wall of the pass, and fell. When he fell, he stood back up, shaking, bleeding, dirty, broken, broken as he had always been, except this time, he was full of resolve.

He would protect his Lord to the very end.

He owed him for being alive, sure, but most of all, he owed Prince Leo for being able to live.

He had lived. It had taken him twenty years, but he had finally gotten to live his life. And now, he was ready to go.

He noticed that his vision was going dark when the Vallite armours began to lose their shine in front of him. Niles was knocked to the wall by the flat side of a battle axe, and his head hit the rock with a sickening crunch. He crumpled to the ground, barely able to breathe through the pain, but still tried to get up. The arrows in his thighs caught on the rock and he screamed despite himself, dropping back down.

A large gash was bleeding on his side, and Niles knew that it was over for him.

He dropped his head back down, and closed his eye. His eyepatch had been cut away during the fight, so he felt blood run from his forehead into the empty socket of his wounded eye. Somehow, he no longer felt empty.

The sounds of battle were waning, but Niles couldn't tell if it was because their fight was over, or because he was drifting away. Either way, his fight was done. He had fulfilled his duty, to his very last breath. He could go in peace.

"Hah…" he coughed out some blood, probably internal damage from the wound on his side. The blood felt cold, running down his face, into the cracks in the dusty ground. "Let's see… what death…" he choked, "…has to offer."

And he was no more.

…-…-…-…-…-…-…

Niles did not expect much from the afterlife. Hell, on many days, he didn't expect an afterlife at all. But if he was to be admitted into a world free of pain, this sure wasn't it. Perhaps he hadn't deserved an afterlife free of suffering, not after what he'd done in his lifetime.

Something was shaking next to him, but Niles couldn't tell what it was. He couldn't breathe, but somehow, it wasn't as distressing as he thought it'd be. He felt peaceful, cold, still, completely at ease, other than the pain setting his entire body alight.

It was the pain that drew him out of his comatose state of bliss, in the end. And Niles would later realize that he had followed the calling of pain, because he didn't know any better, and because he wasn't ready for the afterlife just yet.

It felt like rising to the surface from a deep pool of water. Sounds that were muffled at first became more and more prominent, until Niles could actually distinguish voices. They were close.

He tried to move, but found himself paralyzed by blood loss and shock. Instead, what he realized were hands around him drew him up into a half-lying position. Niles realized that he was being held up in someone lap, and that he was being cradled in someone's arms.

Confusion hit him harder than the pain. He couldn't fathom why anyone would want to hold someone like him.

"Niles, Niles, Niles-" Someone kept repeating his name like a mantra, and Niles had never hated his name more than at that moment. He just wanted to respond, he wanted to open his eyes, but he couldn't.

Something welled up inside of him. Niles thought it was something like desperation or despair, but then, he coughed, spraying blood onto the person holding him.

The person went silent.

"Niles?" he asked, and he sounded so weak, so broken that at that moment, Niles knew exactly who it was. He'd heard that tone once before, and had sworn to himself that he'd never hear it again.

"M…ilord…" he rasped out with all the strength he could muster. He fought to open his eye, which, he realized, was encrusted shut with blood, but Prince Leo seemed to notice, and without hesitation, picked some dried blood off of his eyelashes. Just enough for him to open his eye partway, and gaze at his Liege above him.

Their relationship had always been based on the looks they gave one another. This time was no different. Leo was not crying, but Niles could tell that he was anguished beyond belief.

For someone like him.

"N-Niles?" Leo gasped once he blinked weakly. He turned to the side immediately. "Odin! Hurry, get my sister! Now!"

He then turned back to Niles, who did not find the energy to look anywhere else but in his eyes.

"You died," Leo rasped. "I held you in my arms and you weren't breathing. How…?"

"You… brought me back…" Niles teased lightly, racked with bloody coughs at the exertion of speech. "You're the pulse in my veins… and the war that I wage… I live and die… for you…"

"Fool," Leo sniffled, tears now obviously welling in his eyes. "What were you thinking!?"

"I had to… make sure you… got away…" Niles continued weakly. "Couldn't live with myself… if you died… and I lived…"

"Selfish," Leo admonished harshly. "You're so selfish! Thinking only of yourself! What would I do without you, ever thought of that!?"

"Some things may never change, Milord," Niles laughed. "If I had to give my life for you again tomorrow… I'd do it in a heartbeat."

"I hate you," Leo swallowed heavily, and then pulled Niles closer, careful not to jostle his broken body.

"You should not have come back… for someone like me…" Niles insisted, hating to see Leo so upset.

"Someone like you…?" Leo breathed in harshly, and Niles realized that he was angry. "Damn it, Niles… Someone like you is my retainer, my protector, my lifeline, my friend. You cannot expect me to leave you behind!"

A soft smile graced Niles' bloody lips. He was much too tired to get emotional, but Leo knew exactly how much those words mean to him.

He used to be worthless, less than trash, and now, the Prince of Nohr was holding him in his arms.

More than anything else, he used to be thrown around like a belonging, but now, someone was mourning him.

He never should have gotten attached, but for the life of him, he could not regret it.

He would not change the way he'd led his life. Not if it meant that his path would not lead him here, clinging for life in Leo's arms.

He smiled and closed his eyes. He was at peace, at last. Twenty-two years of suffering bled away, and here, in his Prince's arms, he felt complete.

"Niles…?" Leo suddenly called him back, though Niles was too tired to open his eye again.

"Yes, Milord…?" he simply whispered.

"Promise me something, like I promised you back then," Leo whispered back at him, as if afraid of being too loud and destroying the peace. "Promise… that you will never leave me again…"

Niles couldn't help but chuckle. It hurt, so he stopped.

"Milord…" He didn't open his eye, but blindly lifted his hand, limply clutching one of his Prince's hands. He held strong, even when his grip began to slip. "Leo… As your retainer… I cannot promise that… but as your friend…"

The words took too much effort to make out, and Niles was unable to finish his sentence. He slipped away silently, though, knowing that Leo had understood, and that Leo would not let him go.

"Thank you, Niles," Leo murmured, and the gentle lullaby of his voice sang Niles to sleep.

**Author's Note:**

> I tried to stay as close to canon as possible, but I couldn't help putting that little "Zero" cameo in there. As for the ages, I feel like they might be a bit too young, but I'm also considering that so much stress must make them look older than they are. Boy, the Nohr siblings are a whole other story that I might write one day, but holy shit, do I love them and their relationship as a family.
> 
> Please feel free to leave a comment to let me know what I did right or wrong. Or if you want to scream about Niles, I'm pretty much doing that 24/7, so you're welcome to join me. My Tumblr (sharkbaitsekki) is also open for any potential yelling/crying! Thanks for reading lovelies (:
> 
> -SS


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